My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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