he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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