So drunk its hurt
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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