so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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