hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
