i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
