dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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