Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
A bitchslap is in order.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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