Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize