Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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