I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
