It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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