Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This baby is an asshole
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
