Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
