she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
