My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
