these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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