can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
