i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
