I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
