Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
