the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
