Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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