the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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