another moral hangover. fuck.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
