The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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