I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
