come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
