Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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