margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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