He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
