i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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