Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
