Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
