Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize