Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
