i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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