ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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