I could have mohawked her pubes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
