I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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