we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
