I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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