why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
