What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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