Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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