is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
