You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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