I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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