Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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