btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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