How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
