you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
