"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
