you traded sex for a burrito?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
