so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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