why didn't you poke me back
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
