So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
