high people should be assigned attendants
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
