Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
