i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
