i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
