I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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