Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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