i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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