It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
These tits shall not be calmed
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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