I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
God, I missed his penis.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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