I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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