I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
