Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
