We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
